Employee Proclaims Allegiance Al Franken
After returning to work from a mult-week sabbatical, stage-hand Peter Baker revealed that he was “An Al Franken guy” while waiting for a cold sandwich in the company cafeteria earlier today. Baker, who had been away from the office for a while, described his fondness for Franken, the current Senator from Minnesota, and his hopes for...
Cable Viewer Confused With Lineup
This past Monday night cable viewer Carlton Tucker was more than a little confused when he selected “more info” on the guide listing of “Superman…” and found that in fact, it was “Superman IV: The Quest For Peace”. Tucker described the events that took place: “I couldn’t understand what I was looking at. Were they...
Kings Lose, Fan Blames Self
After the LA Kings came out flat against the Phoenix Coyotes on Sunday, Rosemead resident Fred Caplan could only blame himself for their performance. “I’ve worn my classic Wayne Gretzky jersey for every playoff game this season, without washing it, but Friday evening, my mom did a load of laundry and somehow my jersey wound...
Kobe Bryant Commits First Foul In 4 Seasons
Los Angeles Laker star Kobe Bryant acknowledged that he committed his first foul in nearly 4 seasons this past Saturday during the second round playoff game against the Oklahoma City Thunder. “Durant was on a leading a fast break and I decided I had to stop him from getting to the basket. I’m not sure...
Band on the Verge of Big Time
Los Angeles band “Dragon’s Mistress” announced Monday that they are close to making it big and they’re ready to take “this thing” seriously. Lead singer, Tara Sinister, made the statement via a posting on Craigslist titled “LA metal band seeks guitarist and bass player”. The post revealed that while Dragon’s Mistress already has a drummer...
Area Man Tries to Determine If New Female Employee is Attractive
As new female employee “Shelly” was introduced on her first day, one of her new co-workers had one question on his mind: Is this girl cute or even remotely attractive? Phil Clayborn’s answer: “Eh.” When asked to clarify his initial evaluation, Clayborn replied “I guess I’ll need some more time to work this out in...
The A-Train News – An Intro
Greetings! Back in my days at AOL, every Tuesday was special in that it meant a new release of The Onion was being published online. It helped pass the time as we sat on technical support calls with the brain dead of America. That site even inspired the much beloved site “The Tatooine Times”, which...
